The technical stuff like grammar, punctuation and credible detail writing can be had by asking your english teachers for some help.anonymous readerReport 2012-10-07 02:08:56starts off good. But I didn’t like your story because you rushed right into sex, and rushed thru it. Indian porn sex Think about how you’d tell this story if you were in a room full of inquisitive and like minded people – you’d start slow, and build up to a conclusion by filling up your story with descriptions so your listeners would be able to imagine being you in this story. details are what make it a better story-at least, in my opinion. details are what make it a better story-at least, in my opinion. 10 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2013-06-25 16:53:38I had to stop reading and give a neg rating when I got to the part with High School kis with DD tits and 10 inch cock.animal99Report 2013-03-23 00:45:09I liked your story because it’s plot showed a lot of promise. My aim is to make you better. Keep writing, writing a great story comes from practicing your craft thru writing many stories. THAT is how you draw people into your story.. Pay attention to my criticism. details are what make it a better story-at least, in my opinion.
