7 comments«12»Anonymous readerReport 2014-12-25 04:34:00I’m still not convinced about her being beautiful, maybe if you added the word beautiful sixteen to twenty more times and I might just be convinced that’s she’s at least slightly beautiful.anonymous readerReport 2012-07-22 21:18:04wonderful plz updateClyReport 2012-06-08 16:24:38One thing that popped in my head, if I start a story where the main character’s name is unknown in the beginning, I find it jarring when all of a sudden, in the middle of a fight scene, we know his name without anything to bring it on. Indian Sex 7 comments«12»Anonymous readerReport 2014-12-25 04:34:00I’m still not convinced about her being beautiful, maybe if you added the word beautiful sixteen to twenty more times and I might just be convinced that’s she’s at least slightly beautiful.anonymous readerReport 2012-07-22 21:18:04wonderful plz updateClyReport 2012-06-08 16:24:38One thing that popped in my head, if I start a story where the main character’s name is unknown in the beginning, I find it jarring when all of a sudden, in the middle of a fight scene, we know his name without anything to bring it on. Maybe while hiding in the bushes, he mutters to himself and uses his own name, that way it’s not “He’s a man, oh wait, now he’s Arealam.” It does go kind of fast, and the characters don’t
