Unfortunately, when you read back your own words it’s tough not to ‘hear’ the emphasis you intended, so unless you’re very careful you can end up with text that reads just fine to you, while leaving other people scratching their heads. Indian Sex The line “As Karen and Elizabeth’s passion grew, she slipped her hand into her pussy” for instance, could mean one of eight different things depending on who ‘she’ and the two instances of ‘her’ refer to. An advantage of sticking to this rule is it makes pronouns a little bit stickier. Can it be shorter? I advocate erring on the side of clarity, simplicity and brevity whenever you’re in doubt. We’re talking about the past perfect here, so the word ‘had’ will be the variant we’re using. This doesn’t always work though. I’m not discussing all those here though. Some of the points that are made here have their origin in the critique of a single story; others are my personal crusades. How right she had been, he thought. The look on Paula’s face was one of abject horror, while Jennifer seemed more angry than anything. So here’s a thing that happened: I was over in the writers’ lounge and there was a bit of a general grump going on.
