But as a nit picky point, you jumped between 1st and 3rd person a lot. There’s literary times to do this but rarely in the same chapter or especially paragraph to paragraph.ellie1993Report 2012-03-07 08:21:34Haha i do get into the story abit… Indian porn sex There’s literary times to do this but rarely in the same chapter or especially paragraph to paragraph.ellie1993Report 2012-03-07 08:21:34Haha i do get into the story abit… But as a nit picky point, you jumped between 1st and 3rd person a lot. Cut back on the descriptives a bit.ellie1993Report 2012-03-07 00:30:05heyy everybody, i just sat down to write the next installment, after not being able to sleep all night! and was wondering what you think?«1» duly notedombligoReport 2012-03-07 05:40:37I guess it is a “Dark and Stormy Night” where you are? and was wondering what you think?«1» There’s literary times to do this but rarely in the same chapter or especially paragraph to paragraph.ellie1993Report 2012-03-07 08:21:34Haha i do get into the story abit… and was wondering what you think?«1» There’s literary times to do this but rarely in the same chapter or especially paragraph to paragraph.ellie1993Report 2012-03-07 08:21:34Haha i do get into the story abit…
