I got lost immediantly because I didn’t know who was talking.Report 2009-04-20 21:44:26Could you possibly put quotations to seperate who is talking. Indian Sex 4 s«1»Ravenfae420Report 2010-07-02 21:52:37Try breaking it up into paragraphs. I felt it ran together, and got a bit jumbled up.Report 2009-04-24 22:34:32WOW. I got lost immediantly because I didn’t know who was talking.Report 2009-04-20 21:44:26Could you possibly put quotations to seperate who is talking. I got lost immediantly because I didn’t know who was talking.Report 2009-04-20 21:44:26Could you possibly put quotations to seperate who is talking. I felt it ran together, and got a bit jumbled up.Report 2009-04-24 22:34:32WOW. Dude– PROOFREADING is a Good thing! I couldn’t read this. I agree, great story line, but very hard to read. Dude– PROOFREADING is a Good thing! I got lost immediantly because I didn’t know who was talking.Report 2009-04-20 21:44:26Could you possibly put quotations to seperate who is talking. I got lost immediantly because I didn’t know who was talking.Report 2009-04-20 21:44:26Could you possibly put quotations to seperate who is talking. I agree, great story line, but very hard to read.
