I’m not bagging on you, I’m just saying you’ve got a lot to work on. I’m not bagging on you, I’m just saying you’ve got a lot to work on. Indian hot sex No offense. Still, pretty good, I’m just here to make it better.anonymous readerReport 2013-03-28 21:50:39the story built up nicely until you got to the sex part and then it went along too fast with a poor description of the sex itself. . . . . . … No offense. 12 comments«123»anonymous readerReport 2013-04-04 21:09:15Lol, I was the first to read this cause the author is mah buddy. I’m looking forward to seeing your work again :)«123» it was just wam bam thank you mamanonymous readerReport 2013-03-28 21:20:33This had so much potential to be a better story. 🙂 I liked it, it is rushed.anonymous readerReport 2013-03-29 14:32:38I really didn’t care for the ‘Rose’ character in this story. She’s way too full of herself. …and ‘Cum on my PRETTY face? . . …I gave it a thumbs down. …anonymous readerReport 2013-03-29 04:19:37I liked the story, however, as a writer, there are some things I want to point out for you to improve upon. I’m looking forward to seeing your work again :)«123» Next, never write something cliche like `Enough about me`, especially when you have barely written a paragraph about the character.
